


Worst Nightmare

by fishfingersandjellybabies



Series: Dad!Jason AU [11]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:11:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5011216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the worst thing he could ever imagine, and it was happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worst Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Damian’s 15/16, and just recently started patrolling like, part-time, as Robin. I don’t even feel bad for this, because y’all literally asked for it, and I can 100% prove it.

Jason couldn’t breathe. That’s all he could think.

He didn’t remember dropping the phone. Didn’t remember racing out of the apartment or speeding down the road on his bike.

It was all a blur. One second he was at home, watching a late-night movie, waiting for his boys to come home. The next he was in the cave, running down those winding stairs.

He couldn’t breathe.

The cave was quiet – _too_ quiet. The computer wasn’t on, there was no sound of sparring, barely any lights on. In fact, the only light was coming from the far corner, from the med bay.

As he darted down the stairs, around the corner, the med bay came into view, sort of, along with the bodies loitering on the outskirts of it. Heads bowed, shoulders slumped. He could make out Tim. Barbara. Steph and Cass, holding each other. And…was that Diana and Clark?

Dick was there, too.

He didn’t say anything, but Clark suddenly perked, turned around, glowing eyes zeroing in on him. He said something, to Dick, who was standing right next to him. Dick spun around, and even from this distance, Jason could see the tears cascading down his face. The haunted eyes, the heartbroken mouth.

And those lips quivered as Jason hit the ground. The tears flowed faster as he sprinted forward.

“What happened?” Jason demanded, voice hoarse and shaky. “Where is he?”

He pushed his way through the family, tried to ignore Barbara’s sudden sob, Tim wiping at his eyes. Tried to go around Dick, storm right into that curtained-off space, but Dick grabbed him. Grabbed him and pulled him to his chest and held him tightly. Hid his face against Jason’s throat, dug his fingers into Jason’s shoulder blades.

“No. No.” Jason heard himself saying desperately, pushing at Dick’s arms, using all of his strength – but that strength seemed to be waning. Seemed to be getting sucked out of him at an alarming rate. He could see shapes behind the curtain. Alfred, and Bruce, standing, staring down at something on the gurney. But he didn’t see who he wanted to. Who he _needed_ to. “Where is he? Babe, beautiful, please, you gotta tell me. What’s happened? Where is he?”

Dick just shook his head, wiping his tears along Jason’s neck. Jason turned, stared at Clark, at Diana. No one would hold eye contact. No one would look at him.

And his soul dropped.

Because he knew.

“No.” Jason breathed, pushing harder. Trying to pull away from Dick, his movements becoming frantic. “No. _No!_ ”

Bruce’s shape jerked, turn towards them.

“Jay, honey.” Dick finally whispered, voice light and _wrecked_. “Please. You’ve gotta stay calm. He-” Dick cut off in a hiccup. “-He wouldn’t want you to panic.”

Jason pushed. Pushed and pushed and _pushed_. And finally, broke free. Jumped forward and grabbed that white sheet. Tore it from its track, and froze.

He couldn’t breathe.

The world stopped, and all the color seemed to melt away. All but those three, those three cursed hues. The red, the yellow, the green. The colors his son was currently wearing. His son, who was currently lying on that gurney, who was _not_ moving, who was _not_ breathing.

“Jason-”

No one had to say anything. No one had to tell him the fact, he already knew. Could tell by the tilt of Damian’s feet, the blank half-lidded eyes. The blood still oozing from wounds all across his body.

Damian was dead.

His son, his _soul_. His child, his only reason for _living_ – was _dead_.

“No…” He sighed, voice shaky and watery, almost crumbling on the spot. He saw Alfred look away, saw Bruce move towards him. But he wasn’t having it. As soon as Bruce was close enough, he lashed out. Pushed Bruce away, into a tray of medical supplies and moved forward.

He still didn’t reach Damian, though. Felt a trembling hand on his arm, spun around to see Dick, just as destroyed as he was, staring up at him.

“I need to see him,” Jason demanded, tone growing louder. “I need to see my son!”

Dick only shook his head, and suddenly – Jason felt himself getting pulled away. Turned back to see the gurney, see Damian, rolling away as well, Alfred along with it, as he moved back to Damian’s side.

“No, stop!” Jason screamed. “Bring him back! Give my son back to me!”

Out of nowhere, there was a voice. Broken and crackly, like it was on a bad radio frequency.

_My partner._

Jason’s eyes moved to Bruce, who was walking back to the gurney, even as the scene moved away. Jason looked back at Dick, who suddenly seemed to have the strength of a thousand men. Could see the others behind him, all in their own grief, but they were disappearing. Getting sucked back into the darkness of the cave.

_My soldier._

Jason spun around, the scene was further away. He felt fury building in his soul.

“What happened?!” He screeched, yanking with all his might. He felt his own tears flying off his face with every jerk. “What the _fuck_ did you let happen to him?!”

“The Joker.” Dick said. Or…or was it Bruce? It sounded like both of them, and the sound echoed. Repeated itself, as suddenly the view in front of them glitched. Twitched and changed, like someone was changing channels. “Damian saw him before I did.”

The scene flashed, and suddenly the Joker was there, not Alfred, leaning curiously over Damian’s body, a crowbar hidden behind his back.

 _My_ son.

“ _Not_ your son!” Jason shrieked. Pulling and _pulling_ and heaving and straining. He thought, for a moment, he felt Dick’s fingers dig into his skin, felt blood run down his arm, but he didn’t care. “Damian was _never_ your son! He was _mine!_ He was mine and-”

_My fault._

“And you _took him from me!_ ” Jason roared. He felt his arm dislocate, but Dick gave nothing. He _was_ nothing. Nothing but quiet sobs behind him. “Your _fault_ , Bruce! This is _your_ fault! You were supposed to _learn!_ You told me you’d _never_ let him get hurt! That you’d never let him do this! You swore he’d never wear that costume, Bruce, you swore he would never be _me!_ That there would never be another me _ever_ again!”

He watched, as Bruce leaned over the gurney, ran his hand over Damian’s cheek, through the blood that was still running, and kissed his forehead.

“You _lied!_ ” Jason howled, voice cracking as he dropped to his knees. Dick held him still, braced his feet on the ground. “You _fucking_ lied, Bruce!”

Suddenly, the scene jerked, like it was on an old television, only real. The medical supplies clattered, and Damian’s arm suddenly fell off the gurney, swinging lifelessly against the blood-stained yellow cape.

“Oop!” The Joker squealed, moving the crowbar from behind his back. “Looks like there’s still a little bit of life left in this one!”

“No!” Jason sobbed. Bruce was still standing there, still had his cheek pressed to Damian’s pale forehead. Didn’t move as the Joker raised the crowbar above his head.

“Like father like son,” The Joker purred. “And we can’t break the family _tradition_.”

Jason pulled against Dick’s grip one last time, but only half-heartedly, as he begged. “No, please!”

“Sa-wing, batter!” Joker sang, as he slammed the crowbar downwards. And Jason screamed as-

As he woke up.

It took him a minute to realize where he was, to control his heavy breathing. He was sweating, clutching at Dick’s torso, digging his nails into the flesh of Dick’s ribs. The other had his arm around Jason’s neck, hand tangled loosely in Jason’s hair. Still asleep, somehow, oblivious to the world around him.

Jason jerked, and pushed up. And that seemed to stir Dick from his own dreams.

“Mmm…Jay?” Dick blinked his eyes open, glancing up as Jason looked around. He frowned almost immediately, though, sliding his hand from Jason’s hair to his arm, as he reached for the hand Jason had pressed against his chest. “Babe, you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

Jason just gulped, painful with how dry his throat was as he spun away, threw the covers back and jumped out of bed. He heard the squeak of the mattress as Dick sat up, as he hurled his bedroom door open and fell into the hallway.

“Jason?!” Dick called, even as he leaned to the side, pushed Damian’s own door open. “What are you doing?”

Jason didn’t answer, though, frozen in the threshold of the doorway.

Damian was there. Lying on his stomach, arm flopped off the side of the mattress. And Jason paused, held his breath, glanced down at the yellow cape balled up on the floor, the green boot hidden beneath it, and waited until he saw it. Until he saw his teenage son’s back rise in an inhale.

He felt his knees go weak. Stumbled against the doorframe as he moved forward.

_Sleeping. Just sleeping. Not dead. Not gone._

He sank onto the edge of the mattress, and Damian inhaled again, began to roll onto his side even before he opened his eyes.

Jason didn’t give him the chance, though. Just grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up, smashing him against his chest.

“What the…” Damian slurred as Jason wrapped his arms around Damian’s arms. Jason closed his eyes, didn’t say anything, felt Damian turn his head upwards. “Baba?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“What’re you doing?” Damian whined. He shifted again, turning away slightly. “It’s _three in the_ _morning_ , Baba, what the hell?”

“Swearing.” Dick’s sleepy scolding suddenly cut in, sounding like it was coming from the doorway.

“Didi, what’s going on?” Damian demanded grouchily, trying slightly to pull away from Jason’s embrace. Jason didn’t give an inch. “What-” A pause, and Jason felt Damian’s muscles tighten. “Is Father okay? Did something happen on patrol?”

“Not as far as I know.” Dick admitted, and Jason felt the bed dip, felt Dick’s fingers rubbing on Damian’s back, right under his arm.

Jason felt Damian turn back, tilt his head to look at him once more. He finally collapsed a little, then, dropped his face to the crook of Damian’s neck.

“Baba, what’s wrong?” Damian sounded tender, as he raised his arms and clung to Jason’s back. “What’s happened?”

Jason couldn’t put it into words. Couldn’t explain his nightmare, not right now, probably not _ever_. He didn’t want to relive that, didn’t want to _think_ about it, ever again, for as long as he lived.

“I love you, baby.” He whispered instead, voice shaky and watery and _shattered_. “I love you more than _anything_ in this entire world. And I’ll stop at _nothing_ to keep you safe. You…you know, that right?”

“Of course I do.” Damian almost laughed, mimicking Dick’s own gesture, and rubbing tenderly at Jason’s spine.

“I…” Jason inhaled sharply, kept forgetting to breathe, too focused on Damian, on the baby in his arms. “I wish you didn’t want to be Robin.”

Damian’s hands froze. Dick’s did too.

“I wish you didn’t want to help people.” Jason confessed. “I wish…we didn’t raise you to be such a damn _good_ person.”

A pause. Then, Dick was shifting forward, hand running up and down Jason’s still-shivering arm. “Oh, Jay…”

Damian hummed a laugh, hooked his chin over Jason’s shoulder, and began rubbing his back once more. “It’s okay, Baba. I promise. Everything will be okay.”

Jason shook his head, burrowed his face further into Damian’s throat. Held him tighter, even as his sobs finally broke loose and wracked his frame. Because, Jason knew, from his own history, from watching Dick all these years. Hell, from watching the _others_ , Tim and Cass and Barbara and, poor, poor _Steph_ …

Jason cried into his son’s neck because Jason knew.

There was _always_ that chance it _wouldn’t_ be.

**Author's Note:**

> [Other things for Nevolition’s Dad!Jason AU](http://fishfingersandjellybabies.tumblr.com/tagged/dad%21jason+au)   
> 


End file.
